But averaging 70 on those nice Aussie pitches where we bully visitors and just 37 away, well, something’s not quite right. And now Trav has too? Pay no attention to rankings, they don’t mean anything. Wait, what? Kane Williamson has pipped you? Oh. Weird, hey? I mean, you’re the number one ranked batter in the world! And we know rankings are the only real metric of value. Apparently you don’t seem to rack up the runs when you’re abroad. I’ve had our stats boffins look over your figures and they’ve noticed something odd. Yes, we can chat while you finish your cheese toastie. Perhaps you can just do that thing where you reach three figures when we get to Manchester? You can throw your bat in the air or do a funky little dance, celebrate however you want. I’m sure even Ollie Robinson loves you, deep down. I know the big scores weren’t there in Leeds but you’re still the People’s Champ. Well, enjoy the mini-break and we’ll figure something out when you get back. You can’t be someone’s bunny until they’ve got you out at least 15 times. I said it’s funny how I didn’t notice this before. We might have to start thinking of a way for you to deal with that or we’ll end up guaranteeing England an early wicket. I’m not sure if there’s a pattern here but that Stuart Broad seems to trouble you somewhat when he comes around the wicket. Can we run the vision of his wickets? Thanks.
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